Here and There

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Everybody else is doing it.

Perhaps some of you remember my bad Lent. I gave up Diet Coke, got grumpy and started to enjoy Diet Dr. Pepper.

Last year was a good Lent, no fasting, but I did take on Friday morning prayer.

This year hasn't started off so good as far as disciplines go. I didn't even make it to Ash Wednesday service, and I love Ash Wednesday service. I think I'll have to stop wishing I made it there because I didn't and I'm going to have to move through the 40 days without it.

Problem is, this year's Lent started off with a hard two weeks--and now, I feel like I haven't landed on what I want to reflect on, or push into. I'm just sitting here, wondering what Lent is going to be for me this year. Can I confess? Mostly it seems too sad this year. I don't even know why, but I just want Resurrection Sunday to come. I want it to be morning. I want it to be light. I don't want to sit in dim light and wait.

Agnus Dei

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world
Have mercy on us.
Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world
Have mercy on us.
Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world
Grant us peace.

"Be comforted!" I tell myself.


Erin said...

I think we're supposed to want it to be morning, to be light, to long for the waiting to be over. The thing about the already-and-not-yet-ness of Lent is that we already know the outcome, but for a time we get to sit with the experience of what it must have been like to wonder in awful uncertainty about a tomb that was not empty. I'm not always sure myself about how going without Diet Coke or chocolate gets us to that reflective place, but I know it eases the path to there at least a little.

cristyroses said...

Not to rub it in, but this year I finally actually DID make it to an Ash Wednesday service. First ever for me I think. I decided to attend an Orthodox service near my home. It was long and lovely.

I can understand your regret at missing a service this year; nevertheless, I am confident that you will find ways to be in the sacredness of this season. I wish you the best!

I started a blog in order to post this. If you please, check it out.

something like

jillyg said...

cristy rose! i've been thinking of you. good to think your name and then see it!