Here and There

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Another Birthday, Another Decade

This is one of those big birthdays...and although I am a birthday girl who loves to celebrate, when the time came I was edgy and confused.  I have no idea why turning 30 seemed so hard.  Many reasons, but the biggest one is probably that it feels so unfamiliar, it doesn't seem like me.  I have to live in it for awhile for it to feel comfortable.  My heart feels so young, it's hard to imagine ever being older than 23.  But I am. 

When I was young, learning how to encounter the wider world, Plato's quote "The unexamined life is not worth living." helped me.  Now as I walk in this wider world, I return to it.  I can't help but wonder if I abandoned this idea for a time and that's why I feel strange to turn 30--I haven't looked inside to see who I am at this age, at this turn of the decade.  I've been going through the motions, taking for granted the examining I did in my early twenties. 

So here I am, 30, facing the future and turning inward for a bit, and it's very good.

1 comment:

Miracle said...

This is a wonderful post. I relate to it so much. And yet I don't think I would have had the words to describe my feelings of growing older before reading this. Turning inward. Do it passionately. Love you.